celtrasa
I've been around
Whos the real me?
Posts: 93
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Need
Nov 28, 2005 19:04:57 GMT -5
Post by celtrasa on Nov 28, 2005 19:04:57 GMT -5
There’s voices screaming Inside my mind. To my friends I have lied, I told them I was fine, When I really felt defeated. I once thought I was needed, But it turns out that I was The one in need. I just needed you to love me, I just needed you to care, But most importantly, I just needed you to understand That this isn’t who I am. I feel like I’m alone, Like I’m the only one here. On the outside I smile, On the inside I cry, For the real me you’ll never see. That’s why you’ll always hate me.
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Need
Jan 8, 2006 4:42:54 GMT -5
Post by arcanephantom on Jan 8, 2006 4:42:54 GMT -5
Nov. 28 this was posted. i'm sorry it didn't get commented on sooner. i could completely reach out to this. i see features reminescent of myself in here and so i can enjoy it even more b/c i know where you are coming from. so many characteristics to the silent cries for help. love, care, and patience are the remedies for pain in all things. Beautiful! deidre
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celtrasa
I've been around
Whos the real me?
Posts: 93
|
Need
Jan 8, 2006 19:41:34 GMT -5
Post by celtrasa on Jan 8, 2006 19:41:34 GMT -5
Thanks! I was starting to wonder if this would ever get reviewed...
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Need
Jan 8, 2006 20:15:32 GMT -5
Post by *GoThIc_FairY* on Jan 8, 2006 20:15:32 GMT -5
yah sorry i never commented either.. i can really relate to this poem.. great job~
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Need
Jan 10, 2006 1:42:55 GMT -5
Post by mikethelemming on Jan 10, 2006 1:42:55 GMT -5
i really like this. i liked the subtle, smaller patterns that occurred throughout the poem. "I just wanted you to understand" -keeping in mind with what i have said above, you could have used "needed" instead of "wanted" to express that little pattern to its fullest potential. but, of course, some, such as yourself, may have wanted a change of pace so that it isn't too repetitive, which i could understand. either way i look at it as a win/win situation. very nice poem, i enjoyed reading it
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