The Case of the Missing Knife

[americanclassicx3]

i blink back the tears and tell you i'm alright
i just can't stand to give in during a fight
sometimes i wonder if you can even tell i'm lying
you never seem to notice how red and swollen my eyes are from crying
and what about the cuts on my arm?
i guess you just never imagined your "little girl" doing herself any harm
you try so hard to be a part of my life
so how come you never noticed a missing knife?

[*GoThIc_FairY*]

I really like this one! i can relate to that -somewhat! great work!

[Jeni]

DAMN...

i know EXACTLY what you mean,

i started cutting at the end of 4th grade (i'm in 10th now),
and for the first 2-3 years i was super careful about it, i mean i was EXTREMLEY carful,
and then i kinda created my own little world, thinking, and believeing that no one would know i had did those to myself, i had good, thought out excuses for them,

then i got careless....
started wearing short-sleeves, and my friends knew how depressed i was, so they knew what i was doing,
and in the 8th grade during gym, (we had to wear our gym uniforms, shorts and a short sleeve shirt)
my gym teacher told the counsler he was worried about me, he saw the cuts all over my arms and legs, so i got called down to the counsler about it,
and she made me show her my arms, and later that week, she called my mom, and my mom asked me about it , and i remeber that day so well, i said "yes, i hvae cut myself before, but it was only a couple times, and i hated the way it felt, it hurt so bad, and it was beyond stupid, and i'll never EVER do that again!!" and she bought it,
she didn't want to think that her little girl would do such a thing....
and after that, even when i would wear hoodies when it was like 90 degrees outside, she wouldn't say anything...and when they cuts were in plain veiw...

but things have changed now..., she knows i'm cutting, and i have to keep a log of when i feel like cutting, or when my feelings are out of whack... so i can show the doctor (we think i have borderline persanality disorder)

but this was great, i really liked it,
and i know exactly what you mean, i have been there before

thank you for posting this

love
jeni

[americanclassicx3]

aww, im really glad you liked it!!

[arcanephantom]

This reminds me so fucking much of my whole fucking relationship with my parents. I mean them and the whole cutting thing is so reminescent of the poem. Crazy! Great poem. I can relate so freaking much.
deidre