Post by Jeni on May 8, 2006 9:54:11 GMT -5
Trying to find out who you really are in todays world is hard. There are so many people who think they know a person, or know exactly what a person has been though, just by the way they dress. With everyone so cought up in judgung others, and attempting to cast out peers because of something so small as what job their parents have, it's so hard to figure out who you really are. People say that highschool will be the best years of my life. But i'm starting to wonder why. I mean five days out of seven, i get up early and go to the same place, walk down the same hallways seeing the same faces, and learning realivtily the same thing everyday. The only thing i can think of that would make them say that, is that when they entered highschool they had no idea of who they really were, and during the four years they spent within those walls, they somehow not only founnd friend, and a diploma, but some where along thast line, they found themselves to.
When i came to highschool my freshamn year, i thought i knew who i was. I was under the impression that i had already found myself. But the truth is, when i came into highschool, i realized i had no idea of who i really was. I had never been so unsure of myself. When i thought that i knew who i was, i was blind. But now i see that the only thing i had in my head, was an image of who i wanted to be, and what i wanted people to think of me. In highschool everyone tried to classify other students, like when your cliassify a new species of an animal that has just been discovered. They are either accepted or rejected because of the clothes they wear, the way they fix their hair, and even the music they listen to. The way i look at it now is highschool is where you choose to define yourself, or you let others define you. So now i wonder which ise better? To be your own person and never really be accpeted. Or to let yourself be molded until your fit perfectly into a shell that looks remarkably like that of the other twenty people that it is seemingly ok for you to hang out with, because they dress, and act like you. Because then you are accepted by someone, because you are exactly like them, and if they rejected you because of the things you did, then in a sense they would be rejecting themselves which wouldn't work out because they are already unsure about who they are. And thats obvious because they had to look to their class mates to sculpt them into something thast everyone else thought they should be. I spent over a year and a half debating that in my head, whether it was better to make you should not be the clay in someone elses toughts, to not allow others to mold and sculpt you into what they want you to be, or it you should let your self be pressed between the stone clenches of their thoughts be perfectly carved into something their not.
And i still havn't figured out which is better, but i know what i want for myself, and right now i think that knowing what it is that i want for myself is one of the best possiable things for me. I am going to be my own person, when i think soemthing is funny i will laugh, even if i am the only one who found it funny. When i see a shirt that i like, i'm going to buy it and waer it, and not let it matter to me if it's “in” or “out”. And when i am friends with someone, i will be their friend whether their favorite color is pink or black, or they like rock or rap, it doesn't matter to me. Amd when i am asked my opinion on something i will give it proudly, because it's what i believe in. but i won't shut their opinions out either, because during this journey where i went from letting others define me to defining myself, i have gainned a very open mind, and most of all i learned to respect.
